On Tuesday I went in for a routine sonogram and my routine appointment. During the sonogram we saw again how low she is. So low that we couldn’t get a good measurement of her head at all. Based on the other measurements and an estimate of her head it looks like she is weighing in at 5 lbs. 7 oz. as of 34 weeks and 5 days. I had my appointment with my doctor directly after my sonogram. After looking at my sonogram and doing an exam she said, “Well, I’m really thinking that you will have this baby at the end of 36 weeks.” It didn’t click at this point. I said, “So, what week do you have me at right now?” She said, “I have you at 35 weeks.” I said, “So, you think it could be late next week?!” and she said, “Yes, probably end of next week.” I was thinking, “I’m sorry, what?!” She let me know that she wouldn’t be able to completely see if I was dilating right now, but if I was it wasn’t by much. I said, “So, what does her positioning mean in regard to my delivery?” She said, “It should actually make it easier and quicker because she is already engaged.” So, hopefully that’s the case! When I came out of the office I said, “So, if she comes next week will she be ready? Size-wise?” and she said, “If things start to happen and she is on her way it’s because she’s done. It will be great.” Her heartbeat sounds great, along with the four chambers of her heart, kidneys, etc. Everything seems to be developing well and right on track. I told her that today was my first day of not being at work because of the medical leave and she was already shaking her head and said, “I can’t imagine you working at all right now. She is just so low. Not that she is just going to fall out, but I want you off your feet.”
I have really been trying to take it easy this week, since that appointment. I stayed in bed until noon today which is really strange for me. I haven’t gotten much sleep at night so I think I needed that. I started packing my bag for the hospital, put together my birth plan, two pages of scripture compiled by my Mom and me, and a list of people to call or text when I deliver. I also printed out some recipes that we can make ahead of time and freeze so we’ll have some meals when we come back home. On Tuesday, before my appointment, I went to the hospital and registered. That was strange and made everything more real. I had to fill out a few papers in regard to Reese as well. It’s been really nice just trying to relax here at home. Usually I feel like I have a million things to do and I don’t sit still. Now, I feel like I have a million things to do, but I’m forced to sit still which is good for me!
This morning I had a lot of pains in my stomach and back. I closed my eyes and prayed. I imagined God standing in the fields again. This time scripture began to flow through my mind. I heard God saying, “Trust in ME with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge ME and I will make your paths straight.” He kept saying it over and over and it took on new meaning when I heard him say “me” and “I will” versus the way it reads in the Bible as “in the Lord” and “he will”. It made it so much more personal and real. As I closed my eyes and just listened my breathing slowed and I felt peace. What a beautiful reminder that God is in complete control, not me. He has everything planned out and all of this will (and already is) drawing me closer to Him. I am actually excited to see how much closer I will draw to him through the pains and fears of labor. God brings so many opportunities to us through our weaknesses and fears. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
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