She's here!!!

Okay...here’s the story. Not for the faint at heart. :)

On February 13th, around 8:30 I realized that I was bleeding a little. I called my doctor’s office and after describing things I was told just to monitor things and write down any contractions I was having. I called my Mom and told her that I felt like I was having a few menstrual cramps, but they would come and go. She said, “Amber, those are probably contractions. Write those down.” So, I started writing downs times that varied between 30 minutes, 15 minutes, and then back up to 40 minutes apart. Then, around 12:30 we started seeing a 5-7 minute consistent pattern between contractions. I finished cleaning up some things around the house, uploading a video of the dogs playing in the snow, and Adam went to start the truck while grabbing my luggage just incase. We got to the hospital and they did an exam. I was still at a 3 and she said that my cervix was exactly where it needed to be. She said that it couldn’t be effaced anymore and now we just had to wait. We stayed for another two hours, with a full supporting waiting room already, and when they checked I was still at a 3. They gave me two “magic pills” that would do one of two things. They would either relax me enough to put me into labor if I was already going into labor or they would relax me enough to go to sleep, instead of being uncomfortable through the contractions I was experiencing. They told me I would be out in 10 minutes so I needed to go straight home.

They were not kidding at all. I started seeing double. Cars looked super long as they stretched around turns and I saw double of all the traffic lights. Adam helped me in the house and the nurse suggested I take a bath. Adam drew a bath for me and I laid there for a while. Afterward, I laid in my bed, still feeling the contractions, but now I wasn’t mentally alert enough to focus on something else to take my mind off of them. Adam was laying there rubbing my hand during a contraction and I said, “Adam, I think my water broke.” However, it wasn’t water, it was blood. Adam immediately got us into the truck and we headed back to the hospital.

This time when they checked I was at 5 or a 6 and I had “earned my ticket” to stay. The nurse came in and talked to me about an epidural and of course my first question was, “Is it possible to not be completely numb? I want to be able to move my legs if possible.” She said, “No, you won’t be able to.” Adam said, “Amber, you’re going to want an epidural.” So, she started the process and called the anthesiologist. The contractions started to increase and come a lot quicker. My Mom and I had put together some scripture so we could read it during labor. I held her hand with my right as she read scripture and prayed over me during contractions. I held Adam’s hand with my left as he counted down the contractions. He watched the screen as he told me it was going up and how it was coming back down. He had set up my laptop that had a mix of Christian and relaxation music.

Towards the end of my contractions I started thinking, “Where is the epidural?!”, but I continued concentrating on the scripture my Mom was reading. I was told a few times how calming it was in the room. How there wasn’t any yelling, or craziness. As soon as my Mom started reading scripture and praying and I heard Adam counting down I could go somewhere else. I continued bleeding more and I could hear a little bit of distress in the nurses’ voice. However, everyone did such a good job of being calming that I was just trying to concentrate on each contraction. I remember Sandy walking in with an “angel”, as she called him. The doctor was there with the epidural. I asked him about my legs, liked I asked the nurse, and he said I would be able to move them some with no problem. They allowed Adam to say in the room, which was great, but he had to stay seated. The epidural was no big deal and he did an amazing job of being very supportive and comforting. Adam said he came in listening to his iPod and when he heard my relaxation music he was like, “Oh, I love how you are playing Enya. I love Enya.” Directly after they did the epidural they checked to see where I was at and I was at a 9. He said, “Wow, we could’ve done that a lot sooner.” I was thinking, “I know!” haha.

Soon after the epidural they started noticing that every time I would have a contraction Reese’s heart rate would drop from the upper 130s to the 70s and then spike up to the 150s. I remember looking at Adam at one point and seeing him staring at the monitor. He was great though because all he said was, “Her heart rate is dropping with the contractions”, but he didn’t let on his concern. I remember them talking again about my bleeding and how “this much wasn’t normal”. From what I know now the nurses were starting to get a little more distressed and were trying to get ahold of the doctor. It seemed that things were progressing faster than expected and the doctor on call had gone to another hospital to do a delivery. The nurses had said something to the effect of, “This is the hard part...when you can’t get a hold of the doctor.” I found out later that Adam was getting pretty anxious as well. They gave me another shot to slow down the contractions so Reese wouldn’t be so effected. However, before I knew it the doctor came in and immediately said, “Amber, we are going to need to do a c-section. We need to get her out of there and see what’s going on.” I remember looking at her saying, “Is she going to be okay?” and she said, “Yes”. I said, “Well, am I going to be okay?” and she smiled and said, “Yes you will.”

Right when she made the call they asked everyone to leave except for Adam. My Mom and Adam prayed over me and my Mom stroked my hair. I looked up at her and said, "I am fine Mom. Really." My Mom said Adam was choked up because he was so concerned about me. They gave Adam some scrubs and told him to put them on as he walked. The doctor said that he would give me more of the epidural, but if it didn’t completely numb me in time they would have to put me under. He said, “That’s what I love about this doctor. She just comes in, makes the call, and it is the right decision. This is what I wanted to happen.” So, as we are coming out of the room I said, “I know this sounds silly, but am I covered?” They said, “Yes, Amber you are covered up.” I knew there would be people in the hallway and being numb I felt like I wasn’t wearing anything! We went to the operating room and they made Adam stay outside, but kept reassuring me that he would be able to come in after they tested to make sure I was numb and when Adam had his scrubs on. I was shaking uncontrollably and he told me that was from the epidural. The doctor said, “Amber do you feel this? I’m pinching really hard on your stomach.” I didn’t feel a thing. The epidural had definitely taken.

The other doctor asked me to keep my arms out to the sides, but soon realized that whatever I had them on kept turning inward. He said, “That’s probably pretty hard to keep them turned outward with it turning in.” I ended up grabbing on his leg...lol. He would tell me that things were going great and when I would feel a “little pressure”. I could tell that they were reaching up towards my chest and I could feel an amazing amount of pressure up around my shoulders. They were reaching up to get Reese and to pull her down. I heard the doctor tell Adam that he would tell him when they saw her head. However, Adam said once he started watching he couldn’t look away. He watched the whole thing! I remember the moment that I heard her cry and I knew that everything would be alright. I had such a true peace the whole time though. I knew there was nothing that was truly in my control at all and that I needed to trust these doctors and above all God. I knew God had blessed me with being pregnant from the start and he would be with me until the end, no matter the result. Adam kept asking if I was okay and I kept telling him I was. I really was. Praise the Lord.

At one point I asked the doctor if I was breathing okay. I said, “I feel like I’m not breathing all the way. However, if you feel that everything is going normal I feel good with that too.” He said, “I’m watching your breath and you are breathing great. What you are feeling is that your chest is numb and you just can’t feel the breaths as you take them in as well.” What a strange sensation! All of it! I remember laying there as they cleaned everything and I knew Adam was with Reese. From later pictures I saw that he was showing off our little girl to all of our family and friends. Then she was on her way to the nursery.

The doctor gave me a little calming medicine, after he convinced me it was okay to do (I hate medicine), and then they took me back to the room. I don’t think I realized the severity of things until my Mom hugged me and said, “Oh Amber, I love you so much.” Adam told me all the details later and how intense things started getting because they didn’t know why I was bleeding so much. Adam talked to our visitors outside while I remember rambling on to my Dad about my maternity leave being different due to me having a c-section. I remember my Dad saying, “Amber, why are you talking about this right now?” I was like, “I don’t know. It’s just on my mind!” I kept telling him how weird the epidural was because I thought I was getting feeling back in my feet. I said, “Dad, it feels like I have two blood pressure cuffs on my feet because I have feeling and it gets tight, but then goes away.” I found out the next morning that I really did have two cuffs around my feet that were encouraging my circulation.

They brought Reese in, after checking her out in the nursery, and I was able to hold her. She looked absolutely perfect. They helped me with feeding her as well. I remember trying to sleep that night, but I was burning up! They kept turning down the air and at one point I looked over at Adam and he had 3 covers on him and over his head! The nurses would come in shivering. We asked if Reese could go to the nursery only because it was so cold in the room. I even had them bring in a fan and put it directly on me. I tried to sleep, but my mind was racing. I couldn’t stop thinking about Reese, all that happened that night, and how our lives had changed in that moment. They kept coming in all night to run different tests. A girl came in at 5 a.m. to take my blood again and I just threw my arm out there. I am SO past that now! :) All of my fears of being completely numb, not having an epidural until I progressed really far, and having a c-section had been checked off!

The next morning was interesting because they told me that I would have to try and walk along with using the restroom on my own. I really had no idea that I even had a catheter in to begin with. The nurse brought in two pain reliever pills and an Ibuprofin. I tried to talk my way out of the pain reliever pills, but I went ahead and took them. When we took our walk it was very painful, but okay. She kept telling me to look up because I was feeling light headed from the medicine. Using the restroom was funny. I felt like I had to completely retrain myself. Very strange. We had many visitors that afternoon which was so nice. We had a very nice Valentine’s Day. They moved us to the Postpartum area of the hospital that night. The nurses and staff were SO amazing. The doctor who delivered Reese also came by and explained to me basically what had happened and why I was bleeding so much. She said that I had a blood clot in between my uterus and placenta. She said that the placenta started detaching too soon and the blood clot was rupturing. They didn’t know that it was a blood clot until they did the c-section and that it was a good thing we did the c-section. I was very thankful for her judgement.

We are still in the Postpartum area this morning. The nurses have been shocked that I have not been taking pain medicine. They called me “wonder woman”..haha. It’s more like “mental woman”! I rather feel the pain some than take medicine all day. One nurse told me that her patients usually take two pain relievers with an Ibuprofin every three hours. I have opted for one Ibuprofin every 6 hours and an ice pack. We have been here at the hospital since Saturday and it is now Wednesday morning. My Dad has been amazing. He has come every day for several hours at a time. He will leave work and stay so Adam can take a break, which allows him to take care of the dogs. It has been really nice spending time together every day.

The meals have been surprisingly great and they bring a menu each day to choose from. I have never been admitted to a hospital before so this is all so new to me. Each moment I spend with Reese I feel that much closer to her. I have definitely gotten overwhelmed (to say the least) with my emotions and ups and downs since being here, but I have already gotten much better. Adam does such a good job of talking me through my little rollercoasters and he is able to break down what I am feeling so it makes more sense to me. I feel like I have so much to think about and I am consumed with emotion at certain times. It’s craziness!

I am SO thankful for this ENTIRE experience. I had prayed to be a witness for the Lord during labor and not just fall apart. I had prayed that I would grow in my relationship with the Lord through pregnancy and delivery and I definitely did. With every little complication during labor I just felt a deep solid peace and I wasn’t worried. I have never felt closer to Adam (see my “top 10 “ list below). I have a beautiful blessing that I will get to share my life with and that I have the opportunity to take care of. I laid in my bed last night almost completely overwhelmed with excitement. I was having little “flurries” like Adam has when he is excited. I would look at Adam and then over at Reese and I just can’t believe how truly blessed I am. God is a powerful, loving God and one thing that I have definitely learned through all of this is that God will provide for your needs. With each step of faith that I took and the more trust I put in Him my perspective shifted and I could see through a clearer lens. I could see through His eyes.

My “Top Ten” (or so) reasons why Adam is such a true blessing to me...

-He helps me to the restroom at all hours of the day and night with no complaints and true light-heartedness.

-He is so intune to how I feel that he is able to tell others what I need before I say it.

-He says things like, “I’ve never been more in love with you. I have never felt more close to you.”

-I say, “No, don’t touch my hair. I’m gross”...and he reaches out to touch my hair and says, “No, you’re gorgeous.”

-He has no problem with being my number one advocate and fan. He automatically tells others what I need and what is best for me above everything else. Maybe even over his own desires or feelings.

-He listens and responds perfectly to all of my crazy concerns, tears, and confusion.

-He held my hand during my contractions, spoke calmly to me, and encouraged me as they would spike up and fall again.

-When we had to go into an emergency c-section I learned later how he had never been more scared and how he told me later that he could never imagine life without me.

-He makes me excited about everything, even the little things, like saying, “Amber, we get to watch the Bachelor tonight. I can’t wait to see what Ali does tonight.” Even though it means little to him, he makes a big deal out of it for me so I look forward to something else when I’m in pain.

-How he picks me up out of bed and holds me before we shuffle down the hallway together so I can heal. It takes us forever!

-How he makes me laugh constantly. I never knew how much I laughed at Adam until I feel every momentary chuckle in my stomach from the incision. One night in particular, I laid in bed, as Adam realized he had a super dirty diaper to change. I laughed so hard and kept telling him to stop making comments because my stomach hurt so bad. I was tearing up from laughter and pain!

-How he already loves Reese. How he holds her and wants to be the best Dad that he possibly can.

-How he already encourages me and tells me that I’m a wonderful Mom. He tells me that I make it look “natural” even though I feel like a big mess!

-How he constantly asks me what I crave so he can make sure that I have it. He made a Subway run two nights ago.

-How even though he may be a little grossed out by things he never lets me know. He puts his feelings aside and does everything possible to help me be comfortable. He is truly selfless.

-How while pregnant he provided everything for me in the house. He would make sure everything was clean all the time, not only because he wanted it done, but he knew how it was important to me and he wanted my mind at ease. He made every meal imaginable, no matter the time of night.

-How he wants what I want. He isn’t distracted by what others may want to do, but wants to make sure that it is what I want at that moment. He is always putting me first. He honestly knows me better than anyone...including myself! He can make me see things in the correct perspective even though my thoughts get jumbled in between logic and emotion.

-How he coaches me through getting out of the bed. I love how when I stand up at first he just holds me, reassuringly rubbing my arms to get blood flow, and tells me how wonderful I’m doing. He calls me “wonder woman”.

-How he sleeps in the most uncomfortable chairs in the world each night (4 nights) just to be near me. We brought a new chair in two nights ago and I said, “Adam, why don’t you place it over there (on the opposite side of the room from me)” and he said, “No, I want it back over here. I like where it is in relation to you (right beside my bed).”

-How I’m writing this right now with tears streaming down my face because he is the sweetest man in the world to me. I don’t know what I ever did to receive such a wonderful blessing of Adam as my husband. He has the biggest, most sincere heart of anyone that I have ever known or will ever meet. I feel privileged that God let me even meet someone like Adam, let alone allow me to have him as my husband and now have him as the father of my child. Now, I have our beautiful blessing, little Reese. Someone that is a part of us and the love that we share. I wish my words could do justice to the way I feel about Adam.