Leaving Texas: Part 1

So, I am just a little behind in writing this blog entry.  For the longest time I was going to write, but knew that once I did the reality of us moving would sink in and I just was not ready for that.  At all.  So I avoided it.  Maybe I thought putting off writing about it would make it go away.  However, it didn't work because I am sitting in my apartment right now in Tennessee.

Back in April we made a trip to Tennessee to visit a hospital where Adam had a job offer.  We looked at homes to rent, prayed about it, and honestly the rental market was pretty much non-existent.  I boarded the plane to TN not thinking it would happen anyway so I didn't care too much.  I was just ready to board the plane and head back to Texas.  A few hours before our flight we visited a master planned community, toured the model, and we started talking about building.  Building!?  In TN?  Keep in mind that we already had a lot reserved in Texas and now we were seriously talking about building in another state.  Things felt like they were escalating quickly.  We went from possibly renting temporarily to building a home.  This did not set well with me.  

Once we got back to Texas we prayed about it (continuously) and had no idea what to do.  We didn't want to react in fear and we wanted to follow God's direction, whatever that was.  However, we had both grown up within a 20 mile radius of where we lived, all of our family and friends were there, and most of all I had planned MY future there.  The desires of my heart were very clear and out of nowhere this new path was laid out, making me question what to do next.  

There were truly so many pros to moving to TN.  It would be good for Adam career-wise.  It was a more secure job because his current place of employment wasn't looking too hot long-term.  He would be working for someone he truly respected, enjoyed working for, and was a Christian (the TN CEO was his former CEO).  If we stayed I felt like we would need to start job hunting for Adam, trying to determine if we should buy or rent in the metroplex (and if so where), and did I want Adam working far away again with an hour commute if he worked in Dallas again, which is probably where he would end up?  In fact, while Adam was employed at the hospital in Texas he was contacted occasionally by other companies with job offers.  When this all came about he put his resume on job boards and there was truly nothing at all anymore.  A true closed door.    

In May I told Adam that we needed to visit again to give this decision a fair shot. We needed to look at homes to buy along with seeing that same neighborhood again since we only had seen it briefly.  The girls stayed with my parents and we drove out on a Friday morning at 3:30 a.m.  We arrived in Nashville and had lunch.  Then, we travelled around looking at homes, soon realizing that many of the ones we had just looked at days prior were already off the market.   At the time, we narrowed it down to that master planned neighborhood because we knew it would be available, unlike the homes that were currently on the market.  We went to eat that night at Center Hill Lake and had a great time.  However, I woke up in the middle of the night super sick.  In the middle of it all I was crying saying, "I do not want to move. I don't want to be here."  Adam said, "Amber, if you don't want to do this we don't have to."  I went to bed and the next morning talked to my Mom.  She said, "Amber, don't close the doors to this because of last night or feelings you are having.  Be open to God."  UGH.  No.  I did not want to be open to God.  I wanted to go HOME.

We headed back that next day.  Yes it was a beating.  Down there and back within 48 hours.  I wouldn't recommend it.

  On the way home I said, "Adam, here's the deal.  We have to sell our house and we haven't done that yet.  We haven't even had a ton of interest yet.  Let's find out the latest date that you have to tell them if you will accept the job or not.  If we sell our house by then there is a good chance that is our answer and we will move.  If not, we will stay.  Let's continue praying for open and closed doors."  I felt a real peace about that and knew that if God wanted us to move he would open the doors.

That was Saturday.  On Sunday we found out we had a showing scheduled on Monday at 1:00.  I got the house show ready and left.  I came back home and decided to take a quick nap, which never happens, but I was exhausted from the weekend.  Just as I laid down the phone rang.  It was Adam.

"Great news.  The couple who saw the house wants to put an offer on it for full asking price, as-is" Adam said, full of excitement.

My reaction...crying.  Sobbing.  Full out tear fest.

Not quite the reaction Adam was expecting.  I wasn't crying about TN (yet), but instead of the thought of selling a place that we had made our home.  Adam and I got into our house and completely remodeled several areas, seeing potential in it.  I had experienced pregnancy both times in this house, we had several family and friend get togethers, family had helped us update everything, and we had brought both of our girls home to this house from the hospital.  Memories overflowed throughout the hallways, in the kitchen, and in the girl's rooms upstairs.  I could see Reese playing on the patio outside, reading her books.  I could see Berkley dragging herself across the living room floor, laughing to herself, as she learned to crawl.  We had brought both girls back to this house and created a home full of laughter and joy.  Now, the thought of selling it tore me up.

As much as I wanted to run, I knew God was clearly opening this door after a prayer we said in faith and I knew we had to continue taking steps of faith through each door opened.

Okay, the rest is to be continued.  I thought I would get it all into one entry, but that is not going to happen.  Reese has been up since 6:15 this morning and our day is off and going!