There are many times that I have difficulty just focusing on Christ. I get distracted. I have a goal in mind, centered around Christ, and then I get side-tracked. Really anything can distract my thinking. My girls, Adam, my desire to spend money on myself, doubt, fear, persuasion by others, the world's views, etc. etc. etc. There are times when I can be like a rock, standing firm on the foundation of God. Other times I tend to hop right off, completely losing sight of where God wants to take me.
I see this in Reese daily. I will be at Target and she will be doing great. I will have her set up with a snack, her drink, and a book of her choice. Life will be good UNTIL we go down an aisle with something she really wants (usually food of any kind, forget the toys).
"Mom, I want ketchup (she loves that stuff)! Mom, crackers! Mom, goldfish! Mom, pizza!"
You can forget any focus she had before on being good and content in the store. She is completely distracted by every food item she comes across. My first reaction is to get frustrated. After all, I just want to get the stuff on my list and get out of the store. I will get on to her and try to redirect her focus, but sometimes it is a lost cause. In these moments I have felt the Holy Spirit redirect MY thinking and say, "Isn't that what YOU do on a daily, moment-to-moment basis? You were so focused and geared up to serve me this morning after your quiet time, but then the day started going and you have pushed me to the side. You have let the words of a family member get you down, you have let fear and doubt creep in, and you have questioned my will for you."
A passage that my Mom recently brought to my attention is Matthew 14:22-32 where Jesus walks on water. To set things up, Jesus had just miraculously fed the five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish. Afterward, he sent the disciples ahead, on a boat, while he dismissed the crowd. Jesus then went on the mountainside, alone, to pray. This in itself displays the great importance of spending consistent alone time with the Lord. Jesus made the time, in the middle of everything, to spend time with the Father. When evening came Jesus went to join his disciples and here we are...
"During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. 'It's a ghost,' they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.' Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.' 'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?' And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.' "
I have read and reread this story throughout my entire life. However, when I recently read it I could hear Jesus in my own life saying, "Amber, you of little faith. Why do you doubt me?" I have received such a visual of this moment. Peter's first reaction is based on faith. He steps into the water, completely focused on Jesus and who he is, and takes those first steps of faith toward him. However, he gets distracted, lets his fear of the crashing waves creep in, and begins to doubt his faith and direction. He begins to sink and cry out to be saved. Immediately (love how it says immediately), Jesus reaches out and brings him back.
I do this all of the time. I step out in faith and focus on Jesus. Something happens and I stumble. I lose focus and doubt takes over. I call out to Jesus and he brings me back up. I am so thankful for Peter and this situation because it is a reminder of how we step out in faith, often fall short, but how Jesus is there to reach out and save us.
One of my favorite verses is by the apostle Paul when he says in Philippians 3:13-14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
I love this because it is a reminder that we do not need to get down on ourselves when we fall short. FORGET what is behind and STRAIN forward. We will fall short and that is okay. By saying "strain" he is letting us know that it will take some extra effort and focus, but Paul also says he will "press on". Even though we often fall short, we need to continue pushing forward and practice redirecting our thinking so we are inline with God. I get an image of what it would have been like if Peter would have had tunnel vision, where he was completely untouched by the waves, fear, and doubt. He would have kept walking and in the end would have been embraced by Jesus because of his steps of faith.
Jesus should be our ultimate goal and each day, even though I may fall short, I will practice pressing on for the sake of His glorious name.
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